As someone who seems to have been "default-set" at the near side of depression, healing myself of this has demanded I face it squarely and NOT let it make me BElieve I am its victim.
It's been quite a challenge, almost "more than" I have felt capable of handling. At least for longish spells of Time.
After years round the Principles of 12-Step Recovery, I sat down with myself a few years back and over some months BEgan to actively develop My Very Own SIMPLE Currie-Specific Principles to build my Life upon.
End Each Day With JOY is the port to BEgin Each Day With Wonder's starboard. It is a sort of assurance that I can live within their warm arms and find Life more than just manageable, downright deLIGHTfull!!
As with my mornings, my evenings have sameness, practises, and habits to anchor me and keep the gloomies and Fear from the shadows.
The funniest part, at least to me, is how early I go to bed.
NOT BEcause I am exhausted.
NOT BEcause I want to get "enough" sleep.
Only BEcause I CAN.
Such a simple discovery those 3 words:
BEcause I CAN
yet they took me well into my 50's to recognise and BE willing to see clearly.
I used to have such a time with sleep. It would elude me. I'd fall into it and then awaken with my mind racing and chasing its tail. I even avoided it, sometimes, afraid it would catch me unaware and without protection.
That is depression for me. Wacky thinking and nonsensical fears.
Nowadays, er, nights [evenings] it is NOT one bit strange for me to climb in bed and still hear the kids in the front house outside playing.
Nor does it still BEing light out matter.
When I close my eyes I go to sleep.
No muss, no fuss.
And most nights I sleep a long way through, sometimes all the way through, but even when I awaken, BE it 10 PM or 3 AM, I pop up, get a drink of water, pat Gracie, climb back in bed, and go back to sleep.
And I wake up, usually BEtween 3 and 4 or 4 and 5. It just works.
Now I am NOT saying anyone should DO what I DO, I am only sharing that it took me so long to LISTEN to my own body and brain, I know I did NOT have to struggle so very long...
Ending the day with JOY, as happy to go to sleep as to wake up, this to me is Simplicity with a capital smile.
I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me...
silver dot currie at gmail dot com
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